It’s funny how things happen… the sequence they take.
Last week I posted about how important it is to really listen to your body, because it has much to tell you.
So this week I practiced what I preach and did just that. I had a niggling or best described as annoying pain at the top of my right groin and thigh. There was/is actually a lump there and my phsyio suggested I investigated it further!!
Alarm Bell No 1! Fear at this point did not raise its ugly head .. more like a magician and his rabbit – one minute it was there the next minute it’s gone!!
So off to the doctors I go. She doesn’t think it’s an issue but suggests I get my bloods done anyway. So I do, and they come back in order and her words “I’m a healthy specimen!”
Yeaaaa!
But the lump and this niggling pain is still talking to me.
So we book an ultrasound and x-ray, which I have done the next day. As I’m sitting in reception waiting to pick up my films, I hear the receptionist say to other patients ” Jane here is your film, call you doctor Monday” Its Friday afternoon BTW! “George here is your film, call your doctor Monday!” “Sarah heres is your film etc etc etc.”
Then “Caroline here is you film, can you please call your doctor tomorrow – the report will be there.”
And I said.. “Tomorrow?” (Saturday)
And she said – “Make sure you call!”
As I walked out the door I digested those four words… let me tell you they didn’t taste great! All of a sudden fear out of nowhere is my new BFF! My thoughts spiralled downwards, I got teary and the next thing I’m organising my own funeral!!
This is how your mind works.. at any one time our 5 senses (sight, sound, smell, touch and taste) bombard us with over 2 million bits of information, but we can only process between 5-9 bits at any one time. In order to preserve our sanity our brains filter the incoming information before it processes it. This filtering is done by deletion, distortion and generalisation.
Well my brain decided to emphasise the filter of DISTORTION! And completely distorted those four words and filled me with an irrational fear.
F – False
E – Evidence
A– Appearing
R– Real.
Because I know what I know, I knew I was being irrational but despite my efforts I couldn’t stop. These fearful thoughts were extremely powerful and all the deep breathing in the world couldn’t calm my inner state down!!
Later that evening a close girlfriend rang (happened to be medico) and I unburdened my load to a caring ear. Interestingly I didn’t tell my other half as he was off to a father/son night and I thought what was the point of worrying him and ruining their fun!
So the end (of this story!) is nigh!
Next morning – wake at 6.00 am (very not normal for me!) and FEAR is lying next to me in all it’s glory. Other half wakes 15 mins later and it’s time I tell him! So I did.. a little teary still. He says all the right things, which my former rational self knows are true but that person had gone deep underground!
OMG thankfully one hour later, a text arrives on my mobile phone from my doctor. It was 7.08am “Nothing sinister just bursitis….”
Isn’t it amazing how powerful these emotions are and the havoc they can wreak?
As I tell my clients, when we experience negative emotions we need to change one or more of three things…
- The way we look at things
- How we are communicating
- How we are behaving.
If you ignore them, the signals will not go away and they’ll actually intensify until you get smart enough to change…
I so didn’t practice what I preach…
You’ll be pleased to know the funeral is off and life as I know it is back on!
Have you ever taken yourself into a state of fear like me?
Be Healthy, Happy and Amazing!
Caroline x